How Birth Trauma Impacts Early Bonding and What You Can Do About It

The moments after birth are often romanticized: the “golden hour,” skin-to-skin contact, the blissful instant connection. But for many women, the reality is more complex. When childbirth is experienced as traumatic—through emergency interventions, fear, pain, or loss of control—the way we bond with our babies can feel disrupted or confusing.

If you’ve found yourself struggling to feel connected, it doesn’t mean you’re a “bad mom.” It means your nervous system has been through something overwhelming—and it’s trying to find its way back to safety.

As a therapist and attachment coach in Fort Collins, Colorado, I’ve supported many women navigating this very tender intersection: recovering from trauma while learning to trust their instincts and bond with their babies. And I know firsthand—it’s possible to heal.

What the Research Shows About Birth Trauma and Bonding

When we talk about birth trauma, we’re not only referring to life-threatening experiences. Birth trauma can happen anytime a mother feels powerless, violated, or terrified during labor or delivery—even if her baby is healthy.

According to a 2024 study from the National Institutes of Health (NIH), postpartum PTSD and traumatic birth experiences can interfere with early bonding and emotional responsiveness (Suarez et al., 2024). In these cases, a mother’s nervous system may stay in a state of fight, flight, or freeze, making it harder to read her baby’s cues or feel safe in her own body.

Another review by Howard et al. (2020) found that perinatal mental health challenges (like depression, anxiety, or trauma) directly affect infant outcomes and maternal sensitivity. Simply put—when a mother feels unsafe, disconnected, or hypervigilant, her baby’s distress signals can unintentionally trigger her trauma responses instead of empathy.

And yet, there’s good news. Studies show that specific interventions—especially trauma-informed therapy and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)—can significantly reduce trauma symptoms and help mothers reconnect emotionally and physically with their infants (Chiorino et al., 2019).

(📚 See full research references at the bottom of this post.)

5 Ways to Heal Birth Trauma and Support Bonding

Healing birth trauma isn’t about forcing connection—it’s about slowly rebuilding safety in your body and relationship. Here’s where to start:

1. Acknowledge and Validate Your Experience
   You can’t heal what you don’t honor. Give voice to your story—whether that’s through journaling, therapy, or simply talking about it with your support system. You are not weak or dramatic for still feeling shaken. You are human, and your body remembers what happened.

2. Rebuild Safety Through the Body
   Birth trauma often lives in the body, not just the mind. Practice somatic grounding—like slow breathing, gentle movement, or pressing your feet into the floor while reminding yourself, “I am safe now.” As Dr. Aimie Apigian, a leader in trauma-informed biology, teaches: healing begins when your body feels safe enough to relax.

3. Create Gentle Moments of Attuned Contact
   Try small, low-pressure ways to connect—like quiet snuggles, humming, or babywearing when you’re calm. These moments release oxytocin and rebuild your brain’s sense of safety in closeness.

4. Seek EMDR or Trauma-Informed Therapy
   EMDR has strong research backing for birth trauma recovery. In one clinical trial, 78.9% of women treated with EMDR after a traumatic birth achieved remission of PTSD symptoms at six weeks (Chiorino et al., 2019). If you’re in Colorado or Florida, I offer therapy for birth trauma and attachment healing that integrates EMDR and somatic tools to help you process and reconnect.

5. Join a Supportive Community
   Healing is relational. When you’re held in a safe group space—like my upcoming Birth Trauma Support Group —you not only process your trauma, but also experience secure attachment in real time. You’ll learn nervous system regulation skills, emotional repair techniques, and ways to deepen your connection with your child.

A Gentle Reminder

Bonding after trauma doesn’t have to look perfect. Some days it’s tears and tired cuddles. Some days it’s laughter and presence. Every time you pause, breathe, or reach for support, you’re reshaping the story your nervous system tells about safety and love.

Your baby doesn’t need perfection. They need your willingness to heal.

About the Author 

Hannah Dorsher, MA, LPC, NCC, CAT, EMDR, is a Therapist and Motherhood & Attachment Coach based in Fort Collins, CO. She specializes in helping women heal from anxiety, attachment wounds, toxic/unhealthy relationships, trauma, and birth-related challenges. As a mom herself, Hannah is passionate about supporting women through the unique emotional landscape of motherhood—from navigating attachment triggers in parenting to processing birth trauma to reclaiming their sense of self.

She provides therapy to clients in Colorado and Florida, as well as attachment-focused coaching for dating, marriage, and motherhood to clients around the globe. Hannah is also the creator of Anxious to Secure: Healing Your Anxious Attachment, a self-paced course designed to help individuals move from anxious to secure attachment.

References 

Booth, A. T., Macdonald, J., & Youssef, G. (2019). Contextual stress and maternal sensitivity: A meta-analytic review of stress associations with the maternal behavior Q-sort in observational studies. arXiv. https://arxiv.org/abs/1908.09968

Chiorino, V., Cattaneo, M. C., Macchi, E. A., Salerno, R., Roveraro, S., Bertolucci, G. G., Mosca, F., Fumagalli, M., Cortinovis, I., Carletto, S., & Fernandez, I. (2019). The EMDR recent birth trauma protocol: A pilot randomized clinical trial after traumatic childbirth. Psychology & Health, 35(7), 795–810. https://doi.org/10.1080/08870446.2019.1699088

Howard, L. M., Piot, P., & Stein, A. (2020). Perinatal mental health: a review of progress and challenges. Archives of Disease in Childhood. Fetal and Neonatal Edition. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7491613/

Reshef, S., et al. (2023). Childbirth, trauma and family relationships. PMC. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9848292/

Suarez, A., et al. (2024). Effects of postpartum PTSD on maternal mental health and child behavioral problems. PMC. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC11607799/