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The holidays are supposed to be a restful, cozy, magical time. But if you’re a mom, you probably know the reality doesn’t always match the Pinterest pictures. Between gift lists, meal plans, parties, travel, extended family, and endless emotional labor, rest can feel like an unattainable luxury — something you’ll get “after the holidays,” maybe.

I should know. With three kids, holiday stress has hit me every way imaginable — from coordinating holiday outfits and class performances, to late nights wrapping presents, to feeling guilty for wanting a nap instead of hosting an extended family dinner. Most years I pretended I was fine until I crashed somewhere around December 28th. This year, though, I finally started treating rest like an urgent item on my holiday to-do list. And it made a real difference.

The good news? Rest is not a mythical unicorn that only exists in dreams. Research shows that intentional rest — including sleep, boundaries, and mindful breaks — supports emotional regulation, reduces stress, and protects mental health during high-demand seasons like the holidays (Parents, 2022; Marce Society, 2025). Here’s how you can actually rest this year — even if you feel short on time, energy, or bandwidth.

Why Moms Struggle to Rest Over the Holidays

Holiday stress is real, and it’s not just anecdotal. A study from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) found that 64% of people report worsened mental health symptoms during the holiday season, especially when social expectations, financial pressure, and disrupted routines all collide. Parents

For moms, there’s also the invisible mental load — the constant planning, anticipating, and emotional caregiving that rarely gets acknowledged. Even self-care recommendations recognize that planning ahead, setting boundaries, and engaging in supportive relationships are crucial to avoiding holiday overwhelm. marcesociety.com

So let’s move from understanding the problem to actually doing something about it.

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5 Ways to Actually Rest During the Holidays

1) Guard Your Sleep Fiercely

Sleep is foundational. Without enough rest, stress hormones skyrocket, decision-making gets harder, emotional regulation collapses, and patience evaporates. It’s especially true during the holidays when routines shift, parties go late, and travel disrupts your internal clock.

Experts recommend aiming for 7–9 hours nightly, keeping consistent bedtimes as much as possible, and creating a calming bedtime routine — like dimming lights, turning off screens early, and using calming scents. These techniques help cue your nervous system that sleep is not negotiable. conciergemedicineofcincinnati.com

👉 Mom-data moment: last year I started tracking a simple bedtime ritual — lavender lotion at 8:30 pm, hot tea, and no screen rules — and the difference in my patience and energy was noticeable within a week.

2) Set Boundaries (and Say No) Without Guilt

You can’t rest if you’re saying “yes” to everything. Social obligations, night activities, extended family meals — they all add up. Research and clinical guides emphasize that setting boundaries and saying no helps prevent burnout and preserves energy for what matters most. ADAA

This might look like:

Leaving holiday parties early
Declining extra gatherings that feel exhausting
Asking family to take on tasks instead of doing them all yourself

Boundaries aren’t selfish — they’re necessary self-care.

3) Schedule it — Really

Rest doesn’t just happen — especially not during high-demand times. You wouldn’t schedule every holiday party except the thing that helps you recharge, but many moms do exactly that.

Block off time on your calendar for rest, just like you would an appointment or a party. Even 15–30 minutes of intentional downtime — a quiet cup of coffee, a short walk outside, a few minutes in your car with a breath exercise — can reset your nervous system. Utah Parent Center

4) Practice Regulation “Snacks” Throughout the Day

You don’t need an hour — you need a few minutes of meaningful rest sprinkled throughout your day. These small breaks help your nervous system recover and keep stress from spiraling. Things that count as micro-rest include:

Deep breathing for 2–3 minutes
Stepping outside for fresh air
Sitting quietly with a warm drink
Listening to calming music
Grounding exercises like naming five things you can see/hear Utah Parent Center
These aren’t indulgences — they’re safety signals to your nervous system.

5) Delegate, Delegate, Delegate

Being the chief everything-officer is exhausting. Delegating tasks not only reduces your workload, it also models responsibility and cooperation for your children.

Ask your partner, teens, older kids, or family members to help with wrapping, decorating, cooking, errands, or childcare. Even small task shifts can reduce your load significantly. marcesociety.com

Make Peace With Imperfection

Rest isn’t about perfection. It’s about being intentionally kind to yourself. The holidays don’t have to look flawless to feel meaningful. Traditions can be simplified, expectations can be adjusted, and you can choose what’s actually important instead of doing all the things.

Professional support can make a big difference with this process. If you find yourself struggling with persistent anxiety, overwhelm, attachment wounds, or difficulty letting go of perfectionism, I offer:

Attachment-focused therapy (in CO & FL)
EMDR therapy for trauma and nervous system regulation
Attachment & motherhood coaching worldwide
My online course Anxious to Secure: Healing Your Anxious Attachment

Purchase Course Here

Healing isn’t about doing it perfectly — it’s about growing your capacity to rest, regulate, and show up as your best self. You deserve rest this holiday season — not later, not someday — now.

About the Author

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Hannah Dorsher, MA, LPC, NCC, CAT, EMDR is a therapist and attachment + motherhood coach specializing in anxiety, attachment wounds, birth trauma, and relationship healing. She offers therapy to clients in CO and FL and attachment/motherhood coaching to women worldwide.
Learn more about her course Anxious to Secure—Healing Your Anxious Attachment and her therapy services here.